You might be asking, “Why My Relationship will Probably Fail.”
You are either:
- Already at the place of NEEDING these relationship tips OR
- You are wanting to do some preventative maintenance on your relationship to improve your communication.
No matter where you are in your relationship, these relationship tips can be effective for you.
Most couples counseling is initiated by women. Most men show up to our first couples session bent that I even exist. I build love with men very quickly. I say something like this, “You’d never show up to a job the way you show up to a relationship. You would never tell your supervisor and the other staff, ‘I’m not stupid. I’ve had a job before. I’ll figure it out.’
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And then when it came time to show you the database, you wouldn’t say, “No thanks – I’ve got a computer at home and my iPhone right here – I’ll figure it out!” And when they went to show you where everything was – the paper clips, the files, the tools, and such – you wouldn’t say, “No need. I’ll wander around until I find everything.” You’d never do that at a new job!
But, for a relationship, which is only the most important endeavor you’ll ever do, this is how most men treat it. “I’ve got this!” No, you don’t! Want a long-lasting, satisfying, loving, sexual relationship? There are tools for this, but you have to reach out and grab them, get coached in them, understand them, and practice them.
Here’s three quick ones for you:
- First, text your partner right now and say, “I was just thinking about you!”
- Next, smile when you see him . . . or see her. A frown communicates rejection.
- Third, make your requests future oriented. When you point out what did or didn’t happen, it is already water under the bridge. Your partner stands condemned because she or he cannot do anything about it now. Instead, say this, “In the future when you are going to be late, would you just shoot me a text to let me know, so I’m not left hanging?”
There are tools! If you don’t get them, the relationship will probably not make it. Did you know 80% of all divorces are initiated by women? Men who reach out for tools early and often tend to avoid this casualty!
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